Dr. Krysti DeZonia
Parents’ greatest worry is what will happen to their children when they are no longer able to watch over and advocate for them. Here are some tips about what you should focus on to assure your children with special needs have the best chance for a happy life after you are gone.
1. Be sure there are people in their life who are not paid to be there. You may be lucky enough to have one or more people who will take up where you leave off. Many people are not as lucky. Start now by developing a formal or informal circle of support for your child. There are specific steps you can take to do this. If you want to know what they are, read my blog entry titled “Who Will Take Over.”
2. Social skills are the most important thing to work on with your child. Many may argue that eliminating problem behaviors or developing effective communication are the most important skills a child can acquire, and I agree that they are critical. Believe it or not, when your child is 40 years old, there are plenty of people (usually staff who work in the field) who will want to spend time with him even if he doesn’t talk and even if he hits them. This is because they have found a way to connect. People fall in love with a personality or a smile or because of the hug they get at the end of the day. Focus your energy on helping your child learn to do things that will connect him to other people. Until they can do this on their own, be sure you have plenty of videos, stories, and “All About Me” books that show others the loveable, quirky, and unique person behind the autism. Lonely people rarely lead happy lives.