10 Tips on How to Communicate with Autistic People

In response to brydensmommy at myautismteam.com
What follows is an article that I hope helps others understand Autism better.

Guest Post by Steve Summers*

1. Please always keep in mind that communication difficulties are common with Autism. We have difficulties in reading social cues and body language. Be patient and understanding.

2. We tend to take things literally and have often trouble reading between the lines. As a result, we may ask a lot of questions to clarify what is meant by something that you say. I have been told that I ask a lot of questions. Don’t be offended by this. It is our way of being sure that we understand what you are telling us. We may repeat back to you in our own words to try and get on the same page as you.

3. If we misunderstand something that you say, please be patient and expand on what you said and explain what you meant. Don’t assume a negative or hostile intent from us if we misunderstand something that you said. Keep in mind that communication can be difficult for us. Things that come naturally to you take extra effort by us.

4. Please don’t get offended by our communication style. We tend to be frank, honest and matter of fact. Some people may interpret this as blunt or rude. We don’t intend to offend you by not sugar coating the things that we say. We don’t intend to be rude. Please don’t get defensive or assume that we are attacking you. Remember that communicating is hard for us. Don’t make negative assumptions. Too often we get corrected or attacked by someone who fails to give us some slack and the benefit of the doubt.

5. Please don’t expect eye contact. We may be able to force eye contact, but it is not comfortable for us. Making eye contact takes a conscious effort. This effort may take away from listening and understanding what you are saying. I tend to look at a person’s mouth more often than their eyes. Other autistic people will rarely look at your face. This is ok.

6. Please keep in mind that we most likely have been rejected, excluded, ridiculed or bullied in the past. If we seem anxious or insecure this may be due to living in a world that misunderstands us and is often hostile to us. We have to work hard to reach out to others. Please work at reaching back to us with understanding and kindness. If we feel that you are ignoring us we will feel bad about that. We may persist in asking for feedback from you. Please be reassuring and clearly express your support for us.

7. Please don’t speak down to us. Treat us as equals. We may sound flat or have an unusual tone to our voice. We may not speak with our voice at all. We may need to type our words. Please be patient with us. It may take us a while to formulate our answers.

8. Please don’t talk too loudly or yell at us. It is very jarring to us. It makes me jump when someone comes up to me and talks too loudly. It is like having someone jump out in the dark yelling “BOO!” at me. It causes an adrenalin dump in my body. I don’t like this.

9. Please do NOT touch us without warning. It will make us jump. We don’t like unexpected touches.

10. Please don’t assume that we lack empathy or emotion. We pick up on negative or judgmental attitudes. We know when people look down on us or are hostile to us. We will shut down if you show us a lack of respect.

Please keep in mind that we are all different. These issues will vary from person to person. The above tips are written from my perspective as an autistic person. This is just a guide. Feel free to ask me any questions so that I may expand and clarify any areas that aren’t clear to you. Thank you for reading this guide. ~ Steve Summers

*Steve Summers

I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (part of the Autism Spectrum) as an adult. I was diagnosed following my 11-year-old son’s diagnosis with Aspergers. I am happy to have my diagnosis. It was like a light being turned on that illuminated my entire life in a new way. Now I understand why I never really ‘fit in.’ It is like having a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders to have my diagnosis.

I don’t feel that people should make divisions between parts of the Autism Spectrum. I am autistic and I want to work to make the world a better, more understanding and accepting place for all autistic people. We need to work together for the benefit of all on the Autism Spectrum. 

I wrote this list due to continuing difficulties that I have had with the give and take of communicating with others. Many people seem too easily offended because they fail to understand these things about me. We all need understanding and acceptance.

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8 TIPS To Improving Behaviors in Children with ASD

By Laurie Stephens, Ph.D.

Children with Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) experience the world in a very different way than other children. For these children, behaviors considered to be inappropriate, such as outbursts, tantrums or "meltdowns" may be their only way to communicate their needs, wants and frustrations. Sadly, many parents and family members often do not understand why a child is misbehaving and their actions may make a behavior worse. In addition to causing family problems at home, these behaviors may also result in children with ASD doing poorly in school and at community events, and lead to a difficulty maintaining friendships.

Understanding potential causes of behavioral difficulties for children with ASD and developing tools and techniques to improve your child's behaviors can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life for the whole family.

Leading Causes of Inappropriate Behaviors

Free image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Communication delays: Children with ASD may not always understand what is being said to them or asked of them, due to their communication delays. They also may lack the language to adequately express their wants and needs. Acting out, or throwing a tantrum, is a good way to get attention and often is the only way the children can express themselves.

Sensory dysfunctions: Sensory dysfunctions can also be a primary cause of behavioral issues. A common feature of ASD is oversensitivity to sounds, texture, smell and lights. For a child with ASD, it can be as bad as experiencing his or her environment as a jarring alarm going off constantly, a strobe light flashing, a putrid smell everywhere, a feeling of clothing being overly tight and itchy, being asked questions in a foreign language and getting in trouble when the answer is wrong. Very few people would be able to keep their behavior in check under such circumstances, but this is often an everyday reality for children with ASD.

Need for routine: A core feature of ASD is the need for sameness or routine. When children impose a high level of rigidity and structure on their environment, they are setting up unrealistic expectations. When these expectations are not met, it leads to an increase in anxiety and frustration, which, in turn, leads to an increase in behavioral problems. 

Tips to Avoid Behavioral Difficulties in Children with ASD

1. Focus on the positive: The best way to eliminate negative behaviors is to reinforce the positive behaviors children engage in throughout the day. This will increase the likelihood they will repeat those behaviors. For example, praising children for homework they've already completed is more effective than yelling at them to finish it. Use motivating statements like, "Wow, I see you've been working hard on your homework. I'll bet you'll be finished in no time at all." When children with ASD finish a task, it is important to give some kind of reinforcement, such as a treat, a token or praise.

2. Tell the child what to do instead of what not to do: In general, it is more effective to give children direct commands. This is particularly true for children with ASD as they often take language literally. When we tell kids what not to do, we assume they will know what the appropriate alternative behavior is. For instance, if you tell a child with ASD "do not jump in the puddle," he may not understand that means "go around" the puddle; instead, he may think it is ok to splash in the puddle, walk through the puddle, etc. Saying, "Walk around the puddle" makes expectations clear and reduces behavioral outbursts or unexplained reactions to what they perceive to be correct.

3. Avoid using too much language: Children with ASD often have communication deficits. When frustrated or anxious, they may be even less able to understand spoken language than usual. Rather than trying to reason with a child in the middle of a tantrum, try to use few words and concrete language. Statements such as, "It is time to get in the car" are more easily understood and followed than if you explain why the child needs to get in the car, how you are going to be late and what will happen if he or she doesn't get in the car.

4. Warn your child of upcoming changes or transitions: While it may not always be possible, it is best to tell a child with ASD about any change that may be occurring and give them plenty of time to adjust. If you are buying new furniture, share pictures or bring your child to the showroom to see and touch it. Ask for help to decide where to place the furniture. This prepares the child for change and reduces anxiety.

5. Use visual schedules or reminders: Structure and consistency are two keys to improving behaviors. A fun way to do this is to develop simple visual reminders or schedules. This can be as simple as putting a picture of your child's teacher on the calendar for every day that he or she needs to go to school, or as complex as having a full schedule written out for every step for getting ready to go to school, along with the expected times of completion.

6. Teach calming techniques: Often, we tell a child to "calm down" when they are feeling anxious or upset. The problem is that we only use the word "calm" when a child is upset. It is important to identify for children what it means to be relaxed or "calm" so that they know the feeling we want them to experience. Try different relaxation techniques - counting to 10, taking deep breaths, yoga, music - to see which ones works best for your child. What calms any child may be highly individualized.

7. Beware of sensory overload: It is always important to look at the environment that your child is in, and determine if it is over-stimulating. A child may throw a tantrum in the grocery store because it is too bright or the "beep beep" of the price scanners is bothersome. The tantrum may be the only way the child knows to quickly get parents out of the store. If you think your child has sensory issues, develop coping strategies, such as letting him or her wear sunglasses in the shop, or listen to music to drown out upsetting sounds.

8. Use "time-out" effectively: The use of techniques, such as "time-out," - a common punishment that removes a child from an enjoyable activity -- needs to be used with careful consideration in a child with ASD. Time-out may not be effective because what other children consider an enjoyable activity may not be fun for your child with ASD. For example, a child may be held back from recess because she hasn't finished her work. However, if the child finds recess too loud, too unstructured and too crowded, she will actually prefer staying in over going to recess, and may even stop doing school work in an effort to avoid recess. The teacher in this case has mistakenly reinforced the negative behavior by assuming that the child wanted to go to recess. At home a child may be sent to his room after having a temper tantrum during the family dinner. The child may have thrown the tantrum because there was too much language being used at the table, or he did not like the smell of the food. Therefore, sending him away from the table and allowing him to be alone in his room may actually be what he prefers.

These simple strategies are applicable in any environment and can be used by parents and family members as well as health care professionals and educators. Consistent and regular use of these tips can prevent or reduce inappropriate behaviors. It's important to always keep in mind that children with ASD are not necessarily being manipulative or stubborn when they are having behavioral difficulties. They may not have any other way to express what they are experiencing. If we learn to listen to behaviors, we'll be able help them handle them in a more effective and productive manner.

Laurie Stephens, Ph.D., is the Director of Autism Spectrum Disorders Programs, The Help Group, www.thehelpgroup.org

The information presented on this site is intended solely as a general educational aid, and is neither medical nor healthcare advice for any individual problem, nor a substitute for medical or other professional advice and services from a qualified healthcare provider familiar with your unique circumstances. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified healthcare professional regarding any medical condition and before starting any new treatment.

Image: FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The Encyclopedia of Dietary Interventions by Karyn Seroussi and Lisa Lewis, PhD.

Kimberly Linderman  | The Autism File

Anyone looking to understand, implement or maintain dietary interventions will find this book incredibly helpful. Karyn Seroussi and Lisa Lewis have written an invaluable resource for your autistic child, loved one with immune system dysfunction or someone combating yeast and bacteria.

In 1995, Karyn Seroussi and Lisa Lewis created an international parent network for dietary and biomedical interventions for autism. Thirteen years later, the sum of their knowledge is here in one easy-to-reference guide. In our search to treat and recover our ASD children, we as parents learn that dietary intervention is one of the most successful and important treatments available. The difficulty has always been trying to learn, implement and maintain the diets we choose. All of the needed information is now available in this one comprehensive guide that is easy to read and understand.

This encyclopedia makes implementing dietary intervention seem like a breeze. If you feel that you do not have the time to do the research, the energy to learn the information or enough information to maintain this intervention, this resource is definitely the one for you!

Karyn Seroussi is the author of Unraveling the Mystery of Autism and PDD, which is the story of her son’s recovery through dietary and biomedical interventions.

Lisa Lewis, Ph.D is the author of Special Diets for Special Kids I & II. two of the most insightful and helpful books available on the GF/CF diets for children with disabilities.

All three of the books previously written by these two fine authors were instrumental in helping me with my son on his road to recovery. Their newest endeavor will be even more helpful and I can only imagine how valuable this comprehensive encyclopedia will be to someone who is just starting their journey.

Packed with tips, hints and strategies, The Encyclopedia of Dietary Interventions will make these diets easy to learn and understand with simple but thorough explanations. Karyn and Lisa’s newest book is a must-have resource for those new to the autism diagnosis and battle hardened veterans alike.

The Encyclopedia of Dietary Interventions
By Karyn Seroussi and Lisa Lewis, Ph.D
ISBN 978-0-615-20169-6
www.autismndi.com
Publisher: Sarpsborg Press; 1st Edition June 23, 2008

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