Caleb is a 23-year-old "bright" young man with Asperger's Syndrome who is particularly gifted in math. He recently participated in a social thinking assessment at our clinic. Caleb recognized and acknowledged he has never been able to figure out how to be perceived as "friendly" when around others, but he sincerely desires to have friends to hang out with and learn what he can do to bring this about.
As part of the assessment I asked Caleb to get up from the table and move with his father and me to the other side of the room, where we were to stand in a group. He quickly stood to join us, but positioned himself two arms' length away from me. His father was standing the more typical one arm's length away. I pointed out to Caleb that this simple body positioning sent unspoken messages to those around him about how interested he was in them. We discussed that a significant part of face-to-face social interactions involve moving our bodies into the "communication zone" of others and then maintaining a physical presence that demonstrates a desire to communicate with the other people. Caleb looked puzzled and somewhat amazed. Despite his intelligence in other areas, he had never thought about communication and friendship being anything more than sharing ideas through language.
Following along from our last column, in which we discussed the different aspects of physical presence and the nonverbal messages our bodies and faces send to others, in this column we will explore strategies to help our students increase their awareness of the part physical presence plays within human interaction.
Before we offer the how-to, take a moment and hear this:
Avoid assumptions that are all-too-easy to make:
1) about what our students should "already know" about physical presence
2) that intelligence equates with social understanding in this area
3) that these strategies are only for younger students.